What Now?

A dancer realizes her high school path is not as set in stone as she had wanted.


High school is where most kids find their place, joining clubs, groups, and teams that inspire them. These groups are where they felt at peace, they fell in love with the sport or activity but sometimes these groups become boring and pointless to them. You find yourself asking “What do I do now?” Some people just keep on working hard at it, but not me. I quit the one thing I loved most about school, drill team.

In March 2013 I tried out for the Charmers Drill Team for the second time. When I got online and saw the list of people who made it, I immediately started preparing myself for another year. I made the 2013-2014 Charmers drill team and I was head over heels in love with dance. Camp was amazingly fun for me and I was adjusting to the new team. Thats when I noticed something different.

I began to notice that when school started I started to get very bored and annoyed during practice. I fought through it and kept doing what I loved to do. I would slowly get more annoyed with dance and the team day by day. I started talking to my mom about how bothered I was and she told me I  could not quit and that it was just a phase. She came around to the idea once she noticed how sad and upset I was. Dance was messing with my emotions in a horrible way.

From the first day of practice I noticed a change in the team. We were a family last year, we had set in stone traditions that we said we would always follow, but after Koontz, our first director, left, the team started to break. The team was starting to separate and become distant towards each other.

It was the eighth football game of the season and we had just stepped off the Handley stadium field. It was an away game and I had told myself I couldn’t do this anymore, I had to quit. The bus ride home I was completely silent, I didn’t talk to anyone or even make eye contact, I was so focused on my decision and if it was the right thing to do. That night when I was getting ready to go to bed, I called my mom into my room. I told her I was ready to quit, she told me I had the weekend to think about it and if I still wanted to quit I could go tell them Monday. The weekend slowly passed by and I still hadn’t changed my mind so Sunday night I got all my stuff together and got it ready to turn in Monday morning.

Monday morning was the slowest morning, I got ready and still had a lot of time before I went to school. I waited in my living room, watching some cartoon on TV, then my mom asked if I was ready to go. I got up and we were at the school in front of the dance gym in no time. My mom said have a good day and I got out of the car and made the long walk up to the dance gym. I slowly opened the doors and walked down the short hallway and into the dance gym, my heart was racing. I walked into the directors office and waiting for them to finish practice with the team, soon enough, the directors were standing in front of me asking me why.  I explained how I felt and that it just wasn’t my thing anymore. They were confused and shocked but they didn’t question me beyond that, I turned in my stuff and left the dance gym for the last time.

As the week went on, I felt more and more relieved, my stress level had lowered dramatically and I felt great. Plenty of people asked me why I quit and I told them the same thing I told the instructors. When Friday came around, I had noticed that I regretted not telling the instructors the main reasons I quit. I was being mistreated by leaders of the team, it was mainly one person, but having a high rank on the team did not give her the right to treat people the way she did. It also did not give her the right to be hypocritical about drill team rules, it was completely unfair that she could bend the rules but get us in trouble for not following them. Though I hadn’t told them about her, my mom did. She didn’t give examples of what she did, but told them that she was one of the main reasons I quit.

I never found myself regretting quitting, I just was sad about not being as close to some people on the team that I used to be so close to. I missed the attention of being a Charmer but not enough to ever endure that treatment again. I still watched the team perform because I still love and respect the art of dancing. I will always love dance, but I will never join another drill team. Its been a couple months and I don’t regret quitting, it was possibly the best thing I have ever done for myself, I was much happier and had a great attitude towards everything.

When you find your place in high school, you think nothing could ever go wrong, but a piece of advice from me is to not get too comfortable in your position, people change, things change, and where you stand in high school could very possibly change.